Thursday, August 25, 2011

What is Family

I have had a passion for adoption for so many years - and not because of not having an ability to have children of my own - but simply because there are children in this world, in our own country, on our doorstep - that are in need of love and care. So many people put such a great emphasis on pregnancy and conceiving naturally and I have found that the general consensus about adoption is that it is seen or understood as plan B - when all else fails! Why is it that people have such a negative feeling toward adoption and also many people are so afraid of adoption....I would adopt tomorrow!

Having children and starting a family has been very high on my thought list lately - my husband I are so keen to start a family that we could actually just scream. We have been trying for several months and nothing - I am now 35 years old and not getting any younger. As time passes and my desire to be a mother and start a family is getting greater with each passing day. 

For many years now I have had the conviction in my heart that to give birth to a child does not make you a parent - it is the years that follow that truly make you parents. I may have mentioned this in a previous post. All the emotions that go with being a parent, is a challenge you will face for the rest of your life. Whether your child was born naturally or adopted - the process of being a parent is no different at all. The relationship you spend years developing with your children is the same. The discipline you need to give your children is the same. The love you give your children is the same. All children are the same because all children have one basic need - to be loved and to belong! No matter what colour or race, born to you naturally or adopted!!

My heart is totally for adoption and hopefully - God willing, very soon my husband and I can start the process of adopting. We are at this moment busy with our research and preparations. My Husband - bless his heart - is still in the processing phase, he has fears - which I totally understand. The choice to adopt is not one to be taken lightly - one should allow time and prepare yourself properly.  This is of of the many reasons I love my Husband so - nothing happens with out giving it much thought and being certain. I had these fears too when I first started processing my heart for adoption. My process I guess was made easy with my parents having adopted a little girl when she was 5 months old - she is now in her twenties - we would not be the same family with out her in it...I have had quite a number of years to put my heart at ease with what adoption is and I believe also the reason why I have such and overwhelming passion it - and believe in it.  

My heart is to give a child love... a home, a family. My husband and I have a lot of love to give!!! And, my Husband will be a brilliant father - he has the heart and a child would be so fortunate to call him dad. I am fortunate to be a parent with Him one day. He is the best part of my life and as long as it is us - together - we can tackle anything. 

I am thankful to God for our future family - which ever way He allows that to happen - I look forward to the journey of parenting!

I end off with this thought:

"The meaning of family is not based skin colour, ethnicity, or the cultures of the members. It is based on the love created through those relationships." unknown

Monday, August 1, 2011

When you Least expect it

How quickly life can a blink! It is already 6 months ago since Gavin and I got married and I cannot believe how quickly the time has flown by. Last year I was still in the frame of mind of what ever happens happens and I decided to be in a space of contentment and peace - to embrace life and love it, no matter what.

As I sit here and think back to then, it amazes me that life can change so quickly. The moment you let go and let happen a whole new world can open to you and boy did that happen. I was at 35 years of age and having those crazy feelings (as i am sure some of you have had) of life is not going to happen for me in the way I want it to. I felt that life was forcing me to walk a path that I didn't want or choose. I was so wrong...looking back, and I guess that is always the beauty of hindsight, I can see that my life has taken the path it was meant to take in every way. The heartache that I have felt with the loss of a loved one, the heartache of loneliness and the moments of sheer joy. These are all important moments in what is called my journey. And as I sit here today I am greatful for every moment. I sit with a humble heart and again realise that we as humans have to enjoy the process we call life, the process that is our life and not let anything take away from the beauty of all our experiences - whether they be easy or tough. I am thankful for the person I have become today and the life I have lead and the life that I have!

I have met and married the most wonderful, gentle kind man - and had I Strived in the past to make it happen, make a relationship happen as I have done (as most of us have done before) I would not be sitting where I am now with the man that is truly my soulmate. I have the privilege of being married to my best friend - a prayer and desire that I have had for so many years. Thank you God for the gift that is my Husband, thank you for giving me the man that makes me totally happy ... thank you for giving me a life with a man that I can share joy, laughter as well as tears and heart felt moments. My life is exactly where it should be and let me try to not forget that - May I keep my focus on that which is a blessing all the time. We so often think that because things (relationships, children) seem to have taken so long that we have perhaps missed out on something - but I realise again that timing is everything and therefore I have missed nothing. There is an amazing future ahead, filled with much joy and blessing and God does know the desires of ones heart...Trust in Him and put your hope in Him.

My lesson that I had to learn was let go and let be - Trust God and that He knows and has the best for me. This is a lesson I am still learning and wanting to walk in...some days it is easier than others - but i reckon it is the best way! Wish me "luck" as I continue to live by this: Let go and let be!